Have you ever written a book?
Or thought about writing one?
Why?
Is it because you want to remember or because you want to be remembered?
Posterity.
I write books. I do it since I learned the letters of the alphabet.
I was eight. Yes, it was very late but those were the customs in my family back then.
Nowadays, kids are taught to read and write even before they could speak.
But I explained this in Oranges at Christmas in a Communist Country.
People write for various reasons. Some reasons are good, some are bad, and some are horrible.
- I heard people saying that they hear voices and if they didn't write, they would go crazy.
Shakespeare was one of them. No, he didn't tell me. I can't speak with those who left this world... yet.
- Most people write because they think that their stories might be of interest to others.
- Some write because they want to share their knowledge and background.
- And as I wrote in the begging, some write to remember. But there are many other reasons people write for. They are all personal and, therefore, subjective.
We write because we can and because we want, but why do we publish?
I watched many movies about writers, authors and poets and all of them had a common denominator:
Vanity (prestige, fame).
- Some of these authors admitted upfront that they want to publish to prove the world that they can do it.
- Others hid behind masks of experience, knowledge and wisdom.
- Many... don't admit that at all. In fact, they are mortally offended that someone could think that of them. Yet... they pay thousands to see their book printed.
Are you an author?
Why have you put your name on the cover of a book?
Are you honest with yourself?
Do you know how many self-publishing companies are in this world?
I don't because they are uncountable I am afraid.
Why do you think they were born in the first place?
Some of the people working for this companies master a high level of diplomatic leverage because we are... humans.
The truth is that there is a shadow of vanity in every one of us. In other words: we all have a price.
We are not born with this trait, we acquire it with time.
Even those who use a pseudonym or a pen name, feel the need to tell someone who they are and what they do, especially if they become successful.
- Some master this trait so well that almost no one realises the real reason for publishing.
- Others are obsessed with it and although they proclaim cast reasons for publishing, their true nature is quite notable.
These people sell their souls to the devil and they are not only capable of doing unspeakable things in order to attract fame, but they actually put in act their despicable thoughts. They steal, lie, and manipulate everyone... their minds in the first place.
They have no morals, the sky is the limit and everything is allowed.
In a world where status is everything, unadulterated souls have no space. Either they adapt or they are forced to hide their true nature in order to be accepted.
It is quite scary that's why many don't know who they are anymore.
Why do I write?
It is not because I want to prove that I can. Anyone can be an author. Absolutely every one of us is capable of writing and publishing these days.
There are countless free courses online that anyone can take.
So many books out there to teach you how and tell you what to write and when to publish in order to achieve success.
Publishing is a jungle where being the predator or the pray is merely a choice.
When I was a child, I didn't dream to go to the moon, become an engineer, a singer, an actor or a model.
I never saw myself being a wife or a mother, I saw myself writing even though it was the most impossible dream that I could have ever dared to dream.
I was born a farmer during a very oppressive communist regime. All I could see was... an immensity of land. And at that time, I was too busy harvesting to help the country pay its debts. I had no idea of what vanity meant.
I just wanted to make people... feel the way Victor Hugo made me feel when I was reading Les Misérables. Or other classic authors when reading War and Peace, The Red and the Black, The Thorn Birds, etc.
How do you know if you write for vanity?
Introspection. Honesty.
How does this help you?
I can't answer for yourself.
Have you noticed how many people blog?
Why are there so, so many people wanting to hear their voice heard?
Pay attention to the tone and the words they use. It is so easy to spot the vanity. Check out my older posts on my blogs... I shiver when I read them.
Ageing brings some... wisdom and humility. Or is it experience?
What about the comments or replies to the comments on blogs, websites, social networks, etc.?
The grammatical corrections are the most popular signs of... arrogance mixed with vanity. A very dangerous cocktail of expressed feelings.
Today, here and now, I admit that there is a trace of vanity in myself too.
I've noticed it many times since I started blogging, but I always found an excuse.
Last year, after I watched the movie Rebel in the Rye, I had no doubt that I had a price too.
This time I refused to find an excuse. The cruel discovery was too bright.
The truth is that I write for a living and being successful is fundamental.
I am ashamed, so, so ashamed, but this is the world we live in.
I had to force my mind to accept this. It took me more than 7 years of inhuman pressure and hard work to change my thinking patterns.
I am now ready to take what's mine. However...
- I wouldn't steal,
- I wouldn't step on others' dignity,
- I wouldn't humiliate, denigrate or destroy others' reputations in order to become successful,
- I wouldn't sell my soul to the devil, but I will do everything (else) in my power to get what I have been working on since I was a communist child.
Being successful is a matter of life and death for me.
I am not the most amazing writer out there, but I am the most driven.
I will not stop until you notice me.
I write because I can and because I want to. But you Cristina you're making a mistake. You should write for vanity. Why not? Vanity drives so many people. It is a very strong feeling that makes one do things they never thought possible. I don't think vanity is a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteWe all have it inside us.
That's actually a great point. Thanks for your feedback.
ReplyDelete